A mother was out walking with her 4 year old daughter when the child picked up something off the ground and started to put it into her mouth. The mother took it away and said “Don’t do that!” “Why not?” asked the child? “Because it’s on the ground,” said her mother. “You don’t know where it’s been. It’s dirty, and it’s probably loaded with germs that could make you sick.” The child looked at her mother with total admiration and said, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You’re so smart.” The mother said, “All Moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mom’s Test. You have to know it or they don’t let you be a Mom.” There was silence for a minute as the child thought this through. “Oh, I get it,” she said at last. “And if you don’t pass the test you have to be the Daddy?” Welcome to this Father’s Day. Someone once said that this day is just as important as Mother’s Day but the gifts can be cheap. Well I don’t know about that, but I do know that Father’s Day is important and because it’s important we are going to look at fathering the way God fathers.

Now when you look carefully at scripture, especially when you look at the New Testament, you discover that God is a wonderful father, who gives us a strong role model to follow. For example there are all kinds of scriptures that suggest to us that God is loving and patient. God is forgiving and kind. God is gentle and accessible. God is supportive and affirming. These are wonderful attributes, and hopefully we who are fathers are trying to bring these same attributes into our own relationships with our children. So dads, how are you doing? Are you doing your best to be loving? Do you tell your kids you love them and show them affection? I hope so. How about patience? Would you say that you’re a patient dad? How are you doing with being forgiving and kind? Would you say that as a father you’re accessible to your kids, or are you too busy for them?

Do you show your children support and look for ways to affirm them daily? Some kids never hear words of affirmation from their dad’s or they never sense that their dad is really behind them. Hopefully you’re not like that.

God gives us a wonderful model to follow as a father, so dad’s make use of that model and follow God’s lead, because when you do, you father the way God fathers. Now in our scripture lesson from Judges we come across another fatherly attribute that God demonstrates in his relationship with his children. Although it’s a difficult attribute yet it is one that is clearly needed if children are to grow and mature. This attribute is the ability to stand aside and let your children suffer the consequences of their actions.

In the book of Judges we read that the people of God were a contentious people who were prone to sin. Now at first God came to their rescue by raising up for them one judge after another, who saved them from their sinful ways. But every time the judge would die, the people would go back to their sinful ways. Because God rescued them the people didn’t learn from their mistakes and so in time they’d repeat their mistakes again. Well it didn’t take long before God realized that by rescuing the people from the consequences of their sin, God was really doing them a disservice for the people never matured and grew or learned. And so in our scripture we find God telling the people that he’s done rescuing them. He’s not going to drive out their enemies and solve their problems anymore. If they mess up, they are going to have to deal with it.

Now standing aside and not rescuing a child who is in trouble is not easy. It’s not easy to tell your kids you are not going to pay off that 5,000 dollar credit card bill, even though you could. It’s not easy to tell your kid that they aren’t welcome to move back home for the fifth time after they messed up their life. It’s not easy to tell your child that you’re not flipping their full college bill because they’ve partied too much and failed classes and now they need to shoulder that financial responsibility. It’s not easy to tell your adult daughter that you’re not buying her a car, because if she wants a car she should get a full time job and work for it.

No it is not easy to stand aside and not rescue a child who is in trouble or need. But if our kids are every going to learn from their mistakes, if they are ever going to mature and grow up we need to let them suffer the consequences of their actions.

Now standing aside doesn’t mean we don’t love them and it doesn’t mean we won’t give them advice or point them in the right direction, it doesn’t mean we won’t pray for them. But standing aside will mean that we have to let them taste the pain of their choices. Far too often I see parents rescue their children when the best thing they could have done is let them struggle with their problem. I have a buddy whose daughter got pregnant out of wedlock. She decided to keep the child and raise it. Fine that was her choice, but mom and dad are flipping the bill for this child. They are paying all the expenses of raising this little one. Now tell me has that daughter learned anything, you bet she has. She’s learned that when she messes up mom and dad will be there to mop things up for her.

So what does the daughter do? She gets pregnant again out of wedlock, now she’s expecting twins and she’s expecting my buddy and his wife to fork additional money to raise these two other kids. He’s finally wised up and said no way, but his wife still wants to fork over money. Well there’s trouble brewing in that family, and it could very easily cost my buddy his marriage. But do you get my point?

Being a good father, being a good parent doesn’t mean that you have to rescue your children when they mess up. Stand by them, by all means with love and grace and care, but don’t rescue them from their irresponsibility. Father like God fathers and let your children struggle through their problems. Now in our second scripture lesson for this morning, we come across yet another key attribute that fathers should embrace and that is teaching the faith. As Paul writes the church at Ephesus, he makes it very clear that it is the father’s job to train and instruct the kids about God and the faith. Listen once again, as I read to you what Paul wrote.

Teaching the faith, is not the Sunday school teachers job, it’s not the moms job, its not the job of the pastor, but Paul makes it clear that it is the father’s job to teach the faith.

I grew up with a dad who was very active in the church. In fact for years my father was the church lay leader or moderator. Church and God were important to my father, but dad never really talked much about faith, and he never really taught us about God. But then dad retired and it was during those last 7 years of his life that dad suddenly embraced his role as a faith mentor. Dad started talking to me about prayer and the importance of reading scripture every day, and he started sharing with me some of the faith experiences that he had with God. Dad became a teacher in the last years of his life, and I enjoyed his faith lessons and those stories of his where he experienced God’s presence in his life, but I wished he’d have taught those lessons much earlier.

Paul tells us, as father’s, that we have a faith teaching role to play as a father, so how are you doing embracing that role? Do you bring up faith topics with your children? Do you share with them your faith experiences? You can help your children grow spiritually in a number of ways, but that won’t happen unless you share and teach.

One day when a father was baby sitting his three year old daughter she began bringing him some water in one of her play tea cups. The little toddler told her father that it was coffee and that she had made it especially for him as he was watching the game on TV. Of course the father made a big deal of the coffee, as he drank it, and when she asked if he wanted more he responded by saying of course. Well after several cups of this coffee and lots of praise from daddy mommy came home and immediately the toddler offered to make her coffee. Go ahead said the father still engrossed in the game, let her make you a cup, the coffees great. Well mom followed the daughter out of the living room and watched as she got the water for the coffee. Then mom went back into the room, stood in front of the television and said, “Honey can our daughter reach the sink? Well no, I suppose she can’t said the father, well did it ever occur to you, said the mother, that the only place your daughter can reach to get water is the toilet?”

Sometimes we dads just don’t think. But today our scripture lessons are urging to do just that. Think. Think about your role as a father. Think about how God wants you to father your children as he does. Follow God’s example of parenting and do your very best, for when you father like God fathers, others will not only see you in your children, but they will also see God.